"Once the heart has opened to someone who has deeply touched us, we will most likely feel some connection with that person for the rest of our lives, whatever form that relationship takes. Unconditional love has its reason, which reason we do not know."
Unconditional love does not imply that a relationship must take a particular form We may love somebody deeply, yet still be unable to live and be with that person. As soon as we consider a form of relationship we want with somebody, we are in the realm of conditions and love is not unconditional any longer.
Love in its deepest essence knows nothing of these conditions. Beyond both conditional yes and conditional no lies the larger unconditional yes of the heart.
To deny or cut off the love that is still flowing can be quiet damaging for this would constrict the very source of joy and aliveness inside of us.
Whenever someone we love "hurts" us....text..... we still love this person, denying it by trying to close our heart hurts us as much as it hurts the other person. Unconditional love means being able to recognize our love for another even in the midst pain.
In fact, it is not really possible to close the heart of unconditional love. We do not have to constrict the love which flows from our heart.
Unconditional love does not require us to put up with everything somebody else does, unconditional love is not permission of destructive behaviors.
Unconditional love responds to that which is unconditional on the other and has nothing to do with likes and dislikes, attraction and aversions. Unconditional love is a being-tobeing acknowledgment. It responds to that which is unconditional, the intrinsic goodness of another person, beyond all their pretenses and defenses. Arising from our own basic goodness, unconditional love resonates with and reveals the unconditional goodness in others as well.
The pain of contradiction between the perfect love in our hearts and the imperfections we encounter in relationships breaks the heart- wide open. It reveals the essential rawness of being human, of reaching for heavenly perfection while forver grapple with earthly limitations..Yet, the heart cannot break or break open as its essential nature is already soft ad perceptive. What we can break is the defensive wall around it to protect out soft spot, the place where we feel most deeply affected by life and other people
It is important not to deny the pain and be artificially loving. We ned to be with our pain and suffering without having to fix it. In opening th pain of loving we bleed, yet thus bleeding, when met with warmth and caring, helps to awaken the heart, allowing the larger flow of love to keep flowing.
The truth is that nobody can ever give us the all the love we need just the way we want. But when we can hold our pain and rawness with compassionate awareness, then the unconditional love we most long for becomes available.
Letting the heart break open awakens us to the mystery of unconditional love we can't help loving others, in spite of what we may dislike about them, for no other reason that they move and touch us in ways we never can fully comprehend. What we love is not just their pure heart but also their heart's struggle with all the obstacles in the way of its full, radiant expression. It's as though our heart wants to ally itself with their heart and lend them strength in their struggle to realize the magnificence of their being, beyond all their perceived shortcomings.
This the obstacles we face in loving forces our heart to stretch and embrace all of what we are. Unconditional love becomes an ongoing practice of humility, a learning to be fully human.
Breaking open the heart is the transmuting force in the alchemy of love that allows us to see the unconditional goodness in and through all limitations of their conditioned self. It helps us to recover the beauty in the beast. The overflow of the broken-open heart starts with kindness towards ourselves, then radiates out as compassion toward all other beings who hide their tenderness out of fear of being hurt, and who need our unconditional love to help to awaken their heart as well.
(J.Welwood)
